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INAfliction
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Name: Andrew
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: Orange County
Birthday: 8/7/1984
Gender: Male
Interests: surfing, wakeboarding, sleeping, going to the beach, soccer, running, graphic designing, watching movies, listening to music
Expertise: graphic design and webdesign
Occupation: Education/training
Message: message me
AIM:  INAfliction
Member Since:
4/14/2005
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After many nights of beer pong games, I sit at my computer
screen wondering where I went wrong. (Yea, I checked my facebook
profile and still have nothing better to do, what of it) In a recent turn of events, my sub par performance of loses is not something to brag about. I am the scum of the earth and the bitch of
the party. I, however, (maybe lying to myself) am not that bad of a
beer pong player. I actually am decent. However, I have the weakness of
playing with anyone that will team up with me. If you aspire to survive
in the world of beer pong, you will not follow in my footsteps. Here I
will describe to you the teammates that I myself went through in the past
and that you will inevitably meet, and need to avoid, on the
battlefield that is known as beer pong.
Good friend, bad beer pong player - "Yea dude, me and Steve
will take on anybody here!" I say to myself "Shit! He is a good
friend, to turn him down would crush his beer pong ego and not be good
for our friendship that we have. I have to go with him and challenge
the two guys that have been holding down the table the whole night,
even if that means I am drinking all the beer and calling the our
opponents 'king of the table that is known as pong.'" I play a game and
make 5 shots. He makes one. This is now his claim to fame. His one
shot was miraculous, game changing and worthy of kings. He pours all
his beers into one cup and disperses into the party.
Hot chick, bad beer pong player - "Hehe, Haha, look at me I have
gadnormous tits, you want me on your team right? Um, by the
way you're drinking all of the beer right?" Well yea, I am.
Understand though, not because I want to, but because I can't help but
nod when you're all bouncy like that. If I was smart enough to grab a
friend prior, I would have, but I'm not. I waited around and you
offered so now I have no other choice but to laugh with you at each one
of your throws that belligerently misses the table. I will laugh each
time I chug down a beer for you. In the end, I will cry at night,
hugging my pillow, because that embarrassing game of beer pong did not
pull me any ass from you whatsoever.
Good beer pong player, ridiculously drunk -
Well look who lady luck decided to look down upon. Me! The best beer
pong player at the party wants me to help him take on these two losers
at the table. It's actually the good friend and hot chick we're up
against. Super easy, right? Wrong. This guy has become ridiculously
drunk since we've last meet and is lucky to hit the table, yet alone a
cup. He has put me down a least five times tonight, but now we are
dominated by my past teammates. Unfortunately, he pukes before he is
able to help me finish the beer. Fortunately, he pukes into half of
their remaining cups and they are nice enough to pardon us from
drinking them.
Super (sober) hero, to the rescue - Hey look, it's everybody's
best friend, the sober guy. He can fix anything, drive you home, tell
you your name, and best of all, play beer pong. Not true, we team up.
Damn it, nobody told me he was this horrible at beer pong. "Well, I've
never really played, I don't drink much." Great, I have Mr.
McAlcovirgin as a teammate while I'm wasted. Not only does this cause
problems with our winning situation, he doesn't take kindly to me
calling him a huge vagina every time he mentions his lack of alcohol
consumption. He quits early and leaves me with a forfeit. I drink the
beer and search for a new partner.
Good beer pong player, good to go - Don't worry, this story has
a happy ending, kind of. Finally after all this embarrassment of losing
in front of the whole party, all the hot girls, I team up with the
perfect partner. We dominate, demolish and obliterate our opponents.
Afterwards, silence. The party is no more. We are the lone losers still
up at this hour playing drinking games. No girls to be found, a couple
of buddies past out in the corner, and the two losers respectfully
shaking our hands; this is my only reward. I'm not bitter though,
there's a morale to ever story. I guess the morale of this story is,
when life throws you beer pong, find the right fucking partner.
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say "unique new york" 5x fast
good luck.
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MADNESS!!! THIS IS SPARTA!
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